Alanis how long

Becoming a mother was not the easiest journey for her. According to the Mayo Clinic, 10 to 20 percent of pregnancies end in miscarriage. We as a society have only recently so recently! I chased and prayed for pregnancy and learned so much about my body and biochemistry and immunity and gynecology through the process. It was a torturous learning and loss-filled and persevering process. Being somewhat of a planner, Alanis was determined to take the reins. So, for me I've tried every different version from heavily self-medicating, to formal allopathic medications, to now.

And it used to be really uncool to be an over-communicator, and now it is a boon for people and they are so appreciative with the level of accountability and the speed with which feedback is given, or answers, or responsivity. So now what people used to shame is something that people appreciate, which is the best part of evolution I guess. And then after all that, thanks to a combination of luck and resources, Alanis found herself pregnant at 44, having had doubts that she would get to this point, but ready to get back on that particular merry-go-round.

Pregnancy is a big fucking deal. In a very real sense, her pregnancy at the age of 44 now 45 is why I sat in that villa talking to her. Pregnancy can change your body, forever. It [can] be triggering, or flashbacking, or re-traumatizing. Some of the body changes also turn back the clock. I have a metal rod and some screws in my left leg, and during each of my pregnancies, by the second half of my second trimester, I was acutely aware of them, as though the accident had occurred the week before, and not 10 years prior.

I relayed this to Alanis, and she understood. My first two pregnancies have been gradually becoming more proprioceptive, more attuned to the subtleties that are going on [in my body]. Which brought us to the topic of how her children made that transition from being inside her body to outside of it. Did they try to up your pitocin? Did they offer to pop your bag of waters? We agreed that giving birth is sublime, which is not necessarily fun or good but perhaps more along the lines of knowing that you are alive, which is a horror to some and a benefit to others.

I obviously told Alanis she had to read it instantly, at once. She gave birth to her first two children at home. I nodded knowingly, having personally followed up 24 hours of labor with three and a half hours of pushing which is The intensity. It was both completely weird and yet utterly normal to be discussing profusely and carelessly defecating all over a birthing bed with Alanis Morissette.

Onyx was late, Alanis said, so she did the Castor Oil Thing, which is an unproven and somewhat last-ditch method used to induce labor that may or may not result in success. For those of you not familiar with the Castor Oil Thing, you chug castor oil, a thick and gross substance, usually mixed with orange juice. Essentially you may shit everything out of your body, and sometimes the baby comes along for the ride it does increase the risk of your baby aspirating meconium, among other concerns , so, you know, consult your physician first.

Although she would not necessarily recommend it to others, she believes it did the trick for her personally. Her water broke at a. At the beginning of the average labor, you may have six, eight, 10 or so minutes to prepare for a short-ish amount of agony think 10 or 20 seconds before the whole cycle starts again. How the fuck do I do it? YOU get on the wave , I silently yelled at her midwife and doula! Be more useful! Alanis is in pain and confusion! Because people make very different choices around that with home birth.

Pushing solo had never been the plan. But then her midwife was delayed, and Alanis had to simultaneously manage her husband and also help him manage her. Logistics had to be accomplished, the wave had to be ignored, and Souleye still had to go unlock the damn door so the midwife could join them.

And yet, while things got increasingly scary, Alanis felt like she somehow weirdly, beautifully, became her own doula. She spoke to herself like a coach would, reassuring words like "she's coming, you don't have to manipulate anything, the next contraction she's coming out, I guarantee it.

And then, when all else failed and the terror took over, Souleye was able to get on the phone with the midwife and repeat her words to Alanis. Alanis has previously been open about her experiences with postpartum depression, but I wanted to really get at not just the two bouts she had already fought, but also her plan for tackling it when she gives birth again in a few months. And she did. She waited a long time. Too many people associate PPD uniquely with the latter and dismiss the other manifestations of the illness , allowing it to dig in deeper.

For Alanis, it manifested as a familiar heaviness. It does feel like tar, like everything feels heavy. In an instance of truly disastrous timing, Alanis was starting to tour while still in the grips of her struggles post-Ever, which she thought would help snap her out of it, but of course did no such thing.

I know! I have said to my friends, I want you to not necessarily go by the words I'm saying and as best as I can, I'll try to be honest, but I can't personally rely on the degree of honesty if I reference the last two experiences.

I snowed a lot of them as I was snowing myself [the last two times]. As you are no doubt aware, what in a best case scenario happens after bearing a child is signing a few pieces of paper, and then being left with a brand-new human being, with far less guidance than had you just picked up a mutt at the Humane Society. And if you felt yourself pushed back into the past, or triggered or renewed by the process of pregnancy, parenting a child makes all of that look like a picnic in the park with strawberries and cream.

Sometimes a little of both. It still smarts like it was four minutes ago We only influenced each other totally We only bruised each other even more so What are you my blood? You touch me like you are my blood What are you my dad? You affect me like you are my dad How long can a girl be shackled to you How long before my dignity is reclaimed How long can a girl stay haunted by you Soon I'll grow up and I won't even flinch at your name Soon I'll grow up and I won't even flinch at your name Where've you been?

I heard you moved to my city My brother saw you somewhere downtown I'd be paralyzed if I ran into you My tongue would seize up if we were to meet again What are you my god? You touch me like you are my god What are you my twin? You affect me like you are my twin How long can a girl be tortured by you? How long before my dignity is reclaimed And how long can a girl be haunted by you Soon I'll grow up and I won't even flinch at your name Soon I'll grow up and I won't even flinch at your name So here I am one room away from where I know you're standing A well-intentioned man told me you just walked in This man knows not of how this information has affected me But he knows the color of the car I just drove away in What are you my kin?

You touch me like you are my kin What are you my air? This song by her touched my heart and soul on a very deep, personal level. English not being my mother tongue, I always thought she said "you fuck me like you are my dad", and always found it disturbing.

This song is so beautiful and sad at the same time. The lyrics talks about an abusive relationship by the victim's perspective. Alanis is a master of putting emotions into songs, that's why I felt in love with her music.

As soon as I bought the album and heard this song I knew exactly who this was for me. Luckily no more! But heartaches come and go. Love it, love it, love it.

There was a time when I couldn't listen to this song without collapsing on the floor like a blubbering fool. I've grown up now and don't even flinch at your name, but the song still reduces me to tears What are you my kin? You touch me like you are my god What are you my twin? You affect me like you are my twin How long can a girl be tortured by you?

How long before my dignity is reclaimed And how long can a girl be haunted by you Soon I'll grow up and I won't even flinch at your name Soon I'll grow up and I won't even flinch at your name So here I am one room away from where I know you're standing A well-intentioned man told me you just walked in This man knows not of how this information has affected me But he knows the colour of the car I just drove away in What are you my kin?

You touch me like you are my kin What are you my air? You affect me like you are my air.