Why do children throw tantrums

Ignore the child until he or she is calmer. Keep doing whatever you were doing before the tantrum happens. Don't give in to the tantrum. When parents give in, children learn to use inappropriate behavior to get their way.

Don't bribe your child to stop the tantrum. The child then learns to act inappropriately to get a reward. Temper tantrums generally happen less often as children get older. Sometimes the inability to regulate emotions is the result of an underlying problem. Some of the common causes of frequent meltdowns are:. Whatever the trigger, most mental health professionals believe that children who have frequent emotional outbursts are lacking certain skills that would help them better handle situations that cause them frustration, anxiety or anger.

They include:. A good deal of tantrum behavior that parents see as intentional or manipulative is much less voluntary than they realize, Dr. Dickstein notes. And by continuing to practice those skills, they are strengthening these behaviors over time and using them in a greater number of situations.

Whatever the cause, clinicians stress that in managing outbursts, the first step is understanding the triggers and testing ways the environment can be changed to reduce the incidence of outbursts. Get this as a PDF. Enter email to download and get news and resources in your inbox. Share this on social.

Understanding them is the first step to reducing them Caroline Miller. As kids grow up, they typically develop language skills to express feelings like frustration and anger. They learn to negotiate for what they want.

Most learn to handle strong emotions and cope with disappointment. But some kids take longer to learn to handle strong emotions and cope with disappointment. They may struggle with self-control or anxiety, or have trouble putting feelings into words.

These and other reasons can lead to older kids having frequent tantrums. Tantrums may be a sign that older kids are having a hard time in certain areas. Their challenges may be with learning, behavior, or both. When older kids have frequent tantrums, trouble managing emotions is often the cause. Stress and anxiety can play a role, too. When kids get stressed about certain activities, they may throw tantrums to avoid them. For example, kids who are struggling with schoolwork may throw a tantrum to avoid doing homework.

And some kids face specific struggles that can make tantrums continue long after their peers have stopped having them. For example, they may be struggling with language and have trouble putting their feelings into words. Or they may be doing poorly at school and use tantrums as a coping mechanism.

Learn more about why kids have trouble managing emotions. Kids can often control tantrums. Strong emotions — worry, fear, shame and anger can be overwhelming for children. How to make toddler tantrums less likely There are things you can do to make tantrums less likely to happen: Reduce stress. Tired, hungry and overstimulated children are more likely to experience tantrums.

You might also be able to distract your child. Identify tantrum triggers. You might be able to plan for this situation or change the environment to avoid tantrums.

For example, it might help to go shopping after your child has had a nap and a snack. Talk about emotions with your child. When your child struggles with a strong feeling, encourage your child to name the feeling and what caused it. What else could you have done? Here are some ideas for handling tantrums when they happen: Stay calm or pretend to!

Take a moment for yourself if you need to. When you speak, keep your voice calm and level, and act deliberately and slowly. Wait out the tantrum.